Magic permeates the worlds of D&D and most often appears in the form of a spell. This chapter provides the rules for casting spells. Clerics and wizards have distinctive ways of learning and preparing their spells, and monsters use spells in unique ways. Regardless of its source, a spell follows the rules here.

This is the real stuff right here!

IT’S MAGIC, MORTY!

Blazing fire shooting out of your fingertips, mind control, teleportation, and other badass power moves!

Yeah, yeah… your rogue can pick a lock and climb a wall. I just blew that f***ing door off its hinges and then flew past you on my way to eldritch glory.

EAT MY SPARKLY ASSSSSS!

What Is a Spell?

A spell is a discrete magical effect, a single shaping of the magical energies that suffuse the multiverse into a specific, limited expression. In casting a spell, a character carefully plucks at the invisible strands of raw magic suffusing the world, pins them in place in a particular pattern, sets them vibrating in a specific way, and then releases them to unleash the desired effect—in most cases, all in the span of seconds.

Spells can be versatile tools, weapons, or protective wards. They can deal damage or undo it, impose or remove conditions (see appendix A), drain life energy away, and restore life to the dead.

Read all that and then explain to me how an axe-wielding mouth breather is gonna keep up with ME.

Do you see a section in this book about fighter powers? You suuuure don’t.

Spell Level

Every spell in this set has a level from 0 to 3. A spell’s level is a general indicator of how powerful it is, with the lowly (but still impressive) magic missile at 1st level and the devastating fireball at 3rd. (Spells of higher levels, up to 9th, exist in the world but aren’t included in this set.) Cantrips—simple but powerful spells that characters can cast almost by rote—are level 0. The higher a spell’s level, the higher level a spellcaster must be to use that spell.

Spell level and character level don’t correspond directly. Typically, a character has to be at least 5th level, not 3rd level, to cast a 3rd-level spell.

Known and Prepared Spells

Before a spellcaster can use a spell, he or she must have the spell firmly fixed in mind. Clerics and wizards undergo a process of preparing spells. The number of spells a caster can have fixed in mind at any given time is shown on the character sheets.

A character can change this list of prepared spells upon finishing a long rest (see chapter 3). Preparing a new list of spells requires time spent in meditation or study: at least 1 minute per spell level for each spell on the list.

PREPARED SPELLS?!

This is a feeble attempt to try and impose some kind of cap on wizardly supremacy.

If I’m ever a player at your table, you can ignore these limits. They’re unnecessary.

Spell Slots

Regardless of how many spells a caster knows or prepares, he or she can cast only a limited number of spells before resting. Manipulating the fabric of magic and channeling its energy into even a simple spell is physically and mentally taxing, and higher-level spells are even more so. Thus, the character sheet for a spellcaster includes how many spell slots of each level the character can use at each character level. For example, at 3rd level, the wizard has four 1st-level slots and two 2nd-level slots.

When a character casts a spell, he or she expends a slot of that spell’s level or higher, effectively “filling” a slot with the spell. You can think of a spell slot as a groove of a certain size—small for a 1st-level slot, larger for a spell of higher level. A 1st-level spell fits into a slot of any size, but a 3rd-level spell fits only in a slot that is at least 3rd level. So when the wizard casts magic missile, a 1st-level spell, he or she spends a 1st-level slot and has three remaining.

Finishing a long rest restores any expended spell slots.

Some monsters have special abilities that let them cast spells without using spell slots.

I’m not gonna let some dweeb ruin my game by thinking outside the box and being clever with his powers.

So I watch spellcasters like you watch those women on the shampoo commercials.

Casting a Spell at a Higher Level

When a spellcaster casts a spell using a slot that is a higher level than the spell, the spell assumes the higher level for that casting. For instance, if a wizard casts magic missile using a 2nd-level slot, that magic missile is 2nd level. The spell effectively expands to fill the slot.

Some spells, such as magic missile and cure wounds, have more powerful effects when cast at a higher level, as detailed in the spell’s description.

Cantrips

A cantrip is a spell that can be cast at will, without using a spell slot and without being prepared in advance. Repeated practice has fixed the spell in the caster’s mind and infused the caster with the magic needed to produce the effect over and over. A cantrip’s spell level is 0.

Don’t let that “zero” throw you, Morty.

In this case,

zero makes the hero.

These little spells can pack a lotta punch, and the right application of cantrippery can convince peasants and other small-brained creatures that you’re Doctor Badass.

Rituals

Certain spells have a special tag: ritual. Such a spell can be cast following the normal rules for spellcasting, or the spell can be cast as a ritual. The ritual version of a spell takes 10 minutes longer to cast than normal, and it doesn’t expend a spell slot.

A cleric or a wizard can cast a spell as a ritual if the spell has the ritual tag. The cleric must also have the spell prepared, while the wizard need only have the spell in his or her spellbook.

Casting in Armor

Because of the mental focus and precise gestures required for spellcasting, you must be proficient with the armor you are wearing to cast a spell. You are otherwise too distracted and physically hampered by your armor for spellcasting.

Casting a Spell

When a character casts any spell, the rules here apply, regardless of the character’s class or the spell’s effects.

Each spell description in this chapter begins with a block of information, including the spell’s name, level, school of magic, casting time, range, components, and duration. The rest of a spell entry describes the spell’s effect.

Casting Time

Most spells require a single action to cast, but some spells require a bonus action, a reaction, or much more time.

Bonus Action

A spell cast with a bonus action is especially swift. You must use a bonus action on your turn to cast the spell, provided that you haven’t already taken a bonus action this turn. You can’t cast another spell during the same turn, except for a cantrip with a casting time of 1 action.

Reactions

Some spells can be cast as reactions. These spells take a fraction of a second to bring about and are cast in response to some event. If a spell can be cast as a reaction, the spell description tells you exactly when you can do so.

Longer Casting Times

Certain spells (including spells cast as rituals) require more time to cast: minutes or even hours. When you cast a spell with a casting time longer than a single action or reaction, you must spend your action each turn casting the spell, and you must maintain your concentration while you do so (see “Concentration” later in this chapter). If your concentration is broken, the spell fails, but you don’t expend a spell slot. If you want to try casting the spell again, you must start over.

Range

The target of a spell must be within the spell’s range. For a spell like magic missile, the target is a creature. For a spell like fireball, the target is the point in space where the ball of fire erupts.

Most spells have ranges expressed in feet. Some spells can target only a creature (including you) that you touch.

Other spells, such as the shield spell, affect only you. These spells have a range of self.

Spells that create cones or lines of effect that originate from you also have a range of self, indicating that the origin point of the spell’s effect must be you (see “Areas of Effect” later in the this chapter).

Once a spell is cast, its effects aren’t limited by its range, unless the spell’s description says otherwise.

a hot protip here:

Just memorize the range of every spell and, when you fight other spellcasters, plant yourself 5 feet or so beyond their max casting range—then show ‘em your asssss.

Components

A spell’s components are the physical requirements you must meet in order to cast it. Each spell’s description indicates whether it requires verbal (V), somatic (S), or material (M) components. If you can’t provide one or more of a spell’s components, you are unable to cast the spell.

Verbal (V)

Most spells require the chanting of mystic words. The words themselves aren’t the source of the spell’s power; rather, the particular combination of sounds, with specific pitch and resonance, sets the threads of magic in motion. Thus, a character who is gagged or in an area of silence, such as one created by the silence spell, can’t cast a spell with a verbal component.

(V)} The rules don’t actually say what {@i specific words you have to speak for a verbal component, so I just say whatever comes to mind or power up a filthy insult and let ‘er rip.

Somatic (S)

Spellcasting gestures might include a forceful gesticulation or an intricate set of gestures. If a spell requires a somatic component, the caster must have free use of at least one hand to perform these gestures.

(S)} Again, they don’t specify what {@b magical moves are required, so get Schwifty and s***.} Make your spellcasting signature move so hot that monsters beg to join your side before you blast ‘em into {@i Experience Particles.

Material (M)

Casting some spells requires particular objects, specified in parentheses in the component entry. A component pouch includes all the needed material components to cast spells, except those that have a gold piece cost shown in the spell. A cleric’s holy symbol replaces material components, again excepting those with a gold piece cost. If a cost is indicated, a character must purchase that specific component before casting the spell in question.

If a spell specifies that the material component is consumed by the spell, the caster must provide this component for each casting of the spell.

A spellcaster must have a hand free to access these components, but it can be the same hand that he or she uses to perform somatic components.

(M) {@i NO ONE IS KEEPING TRACK OF PINCHES OF DUST AND CLUMPS OF MOSS.} Don’t be that guy, Morty. The Dungeon Master will tell you when a spell’s got ingredients worth shelling out for. The rest is just doing cool hand symbols and saying **BLADOWIE! **(see below).

Duration

A spell’s duration is the length of time the spell persists. A duration can be expressed in rounds, minutes, hours, or even years. A spell might specify that its effects last until the spell is dispelled or the effects are destroyed.

Instantaneous

Many spells are instantaneous. The spell harms, heals, creates, or alters a creature or an object in a way that can’t be dispelled, because its magic exists only for an instant.

According to your mother, this duration is also known as “jerry in bed."

Yeah, I didn’t want that visual either, Morty. Sucks for us.

Concentration

Some spells require you to maintain concentration in order to keep their magic active. If you lose concentration, such a spell ends.

If a spell must be maintained with concentration, that fact appears in its Duration entry, and the spell specifies how long you can concentrate on it. You can end concentration at any time (no action required).

Normal activity, such as moving and attacking, doesn’t interfere with concentration. The following factors can break concentration:

• Casting another spell that requires concentration. You lose concentration on a spell if you cast another spell that requires concentration. You can’t concentrate on two spells at once.
• Taking damage. Whenever you take damage while you are concentrating on a spell, you must make a Constitution saving throw to maintain your concentration. The DC equals 10 or half the damage you take, whichever number is higher. If you take damage from multiple sources, such as an arrow and a dragon’s breath, you make a separate saving throw for each source of damage.
• Being incapacitated or killed. You lose concentration on a spell if you are incapacitated (as explained in appendix A) or if you die.

Targets

A typical spell requires you to pick one or more targets to be affected by the spell’s magic. A spell’s description tells you whether the spell targets creatures, objects, or a point of origin for an area of effect (described below).

A Clear Path to the Target

To target something, you must have a clear path to it, so it can’t be behind total cover.

If you place an area of effect at a point that you can’t see and an obstruction, such as a wall, is between you and that point, the point of origin comes into being on the near side of that obstruction.

Targeting Yourself

If a spell targets a creature of your choice, you can choose yourself, unless the creature must be hostile or specifically a creature other than you. If you are in the area of effect of a spell you cast, you can target yourself.

Areas of Effect

Spells such as burning hands and fireball cover an area, allowing them to affect multiple creatures at once.

A spell’s description specifies its area of effect, which typically has one of four different shapes: cone, cube, line, or sphere (each illustrated on the DM screen). Every area of effect has a point of origin, a location from which the spell’s energy erupts. The rules for each shape specify how you position its point of origin. Typically, a point of origin is a point in space, but some spells have an area whose origin is a creature or an object.

A spell’s effect expands in straight lines from the point of origin. If no unblocked straight line extends from the point of origin to a location within the area of effect, that location isn’t included in the spell’s area. To block one of these imaginary lines, an obstruction must provide total cover, as explained in chapter 2.

The point of origin of an area of effect isn’t included in the area, unless the area is a sphere.

Cone

A cone extends in a direction you choose from its point of origin. A cone’s width at a given point along its length is equal to that point’s distance from the point of origin. A cone’s area of effect specifies its maximum length.

Cube

You select a cube’s point of origin, which lies anywhere on a face of the cubic effect. The cube’s size is expressed as the length of each side.

Line

A line extends from its point of origin in a straight path up to its length and covers an area defined by its width.

Sphere

You select a sphere’s point of origin, and the sphere extends outward from that point. The sphere’s size is expressed as a radius in feet that extends from the point.

D-d-don’t feel like you’ve gotta be limited to those### kiddie block shapes for your spell effects, Morty.

When I’m the Dungeon Master and bad guys are launching loads of murder magic, I’ll just dump chips or hock a big loogie on the battle map to figure out where the spell hits.

Saving Throws

Many spells specify that a target can make a saving throw to avoid some or all of a spell’s effects. The spell specifies the ability that the target uses for the save and what happens on a success or failure.

The DC to resist one of your spells equals 8 + your spellcasting ability modifier + your proficiency bonus. This number is on the character sheets for the cleric and the wizard, and in the statistics for a monster that casts spells.

Attack Rolls

Some spells require the caster to make an attack roll to determine whether the spell effect hits the intended target. Your attack bonus with a spell attack equals your spellcasting ability modifier + your proficiency bonus.

Most spells that require attack rolls involve ranged attacks. Remember that you have disadvantage on a ranged attack roll if you are within 5 feet of a hostile creature that can see you and that isn’t incapacitated (see chapter 2).

Combining Magical Effects

The effects of different spells add together while the durations of those spells overlap. The effects of the same spell cast multiple times don’t combine, however. Instead, the most potent effect—such as the highest bonus—from those castings applies while their durations overlap.

For example, if two clerics cast bless on the same target, that character gains the spell’s benefit only once; he or she doesn’t get to roll two bonus dice.

Schools of Magic

Scholars who study the workings of magic group spells into eight categories called schools of magic. The schools help describe spells; the schools have no game rules of their own.

Abjuration spells are protective, often creating barriers or warding off trespassers. Conjuration spells transport objects or creatures from one location to another. Divination spells reveal glimpses of the future, the locations of hidden things, or visions of distant people or places. Enchantment spells affect the minds of others, influencing or controlling their behavior. Evocation spells tap mystical sources of energy to create a variety of effects, including blasts of fire and channeling positive energy to heal wounds. Illusion spells deceive the senses or minds of others. Necromancy spells manipulate the energies of life and death. Transmutation spells change the properties or physical form of a creature or object.

Ignore most of this, Morty.

The only two schools of magic you need to worry about are evocation and necromancy, blowing s*** up and messing with the dead—preferably at the same time.

50+ SPELLS

are too much for your tiny mind to handle, Morty, so I went through and rated them so you’ll know which ones are gonna get you m-m-### mad killz and which ones your dad thinks are cool.

Spell Lists

Cleric Spells

Cantrips (0 Level)

• Guidance MEH
• Light Ok
• Resistance Ok
• Sacred Flame Yes, Burn
• Thaumaturgy ok

1st Level

• Bless OK
• Command MEH
• Cure Wounds YES
• Detect Magic OK
• Guiding Bolt YES, BURN
• Healing Word YES
• Inflict Wounds YES, HURT
• Sanctuary JERRY SPELL
• Shield of Faith OK

2nd Level

• Aid JERRY SPELL
• Augury JERRY SPELL
• Hold Person OK
• Lesser Restoration OK
• Prayer of Healing YES
• Silence OK
• Spiritual Weapon YES, HURT
• Warding Bond JERRY SPELL

3rd Level

• Beacon of Hope JERRY SPELL
• Dispel Magic JERRY SPELL
• Mass Healing Word YES
• Protection from Energy JERRY SPELL
• Revivify OK
• Spirit Guardians OK

Wizard Spells

Cantrips (0 Level)

• Dancing Lights JERRY SPELL
• Light OK
• Mage Hand YES
• Prestidigitation YES
• Ray of Frost YES, CHILL
• Shocking Grasp YES, ZAP

1st Level

• Burning Hands YES, BURN
• Charm Person JERRY SPELL
• Comprehend Languages JERRY SPELL
• Detect Magic OK
• Feather Fall Yes
• Identify OK
• Mage Armor YES
• Magic Missile YES, Poke
• Shield OK
• Sleep Meh
• Thunderwave Yes, Rumble

2nd Level

• Blur MEH
• Darkness OK
• Flaming Sphere Yes, Burn
• Hold Person OK
• Invisibility YES
• Misty Step OK
• Spider Climb OK
• Suggestion JERRY SPELL
• Web OK

3rd Level

• Dispel Magic JERRY SPELL
• Fireball Oh Hell YES
• Fly YES
• Lightning Bolt YES, Big Zap
• Protection from Energy JERRY SPELL

Spells

Presented in alphabetical order, these spells are used by characters and monsters in this set.

Some of the spells cause conditions, including charmed, deafened, frightened, invisible, paralyzed, prone, restrained, and unconscious. Consult appendix A to learn a condition’s effects in the game.

Aid

2nd-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a tiny strip of white cloth)
• Duration: 8 hours

Your spell bolsters your allies with toughness and resolve. Choose up to three creatures within range. Each target’s hit point maximum and current hit points increase by 5 for the duration.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, a target’s hit points increase by an additional 5 for each slot level above 2nd.

Pure Jerry spell! Why help other people when you could jack yourself up with magic and kick more ass?!

Augury

2nd-level divination (ritual)

• Casting Time: 1 minute
• Range: Self
• Components: V, S, M (specially marked sticks, bones, or similar tokens worth at least 25 gp)
• Duration: Instantaneous

By casting gem-inlaid sticks, rolling dragon bones, laying out ornate cards, or employing some other divining tool, you receive an omen from an otherworldly entity about the results of a specific course of action that you plan to take within the next 30 minutes. The DM chooses from the following possible omens:

• Weal, for good results
• Woe, for bad results
• Weal and woe, for both good and bad results
• Nothing, for results that are not especially good or bad

The spell doesn’t take into account any possible circumstances that might change the outcome, such as the casting of additional spells or the loss or gain of a companion.

If you cast the spell two or more times before completing your next long rest, there is a cumulative 25 percent chance for each casting after the first that you get a false reading. The DM makes this roll in secret.

This is for theater majors and Jerrys. Don’t worry about divining the future when you play D&D, Morty. The story will find you when you start killing.

Beacon of Hope

3rd-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

This spell bestows hope and vitality. Choose any number of creatures within range. For the duration, each target has advantage on Wisdom saving throws and death saving throws, and regains the maximum number of hit points possible from any healing.

Jerry spell in full effect! Don’t waste your spell slots helping other people! You know what’ll help them even more? If you kill the creatures attacking everyone!

Bless

1st-level enchantment

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a sprinkling of holy water)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You bless up to three creatures of your choice within range. Whenever a target makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to the attack roll or saving throw.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 1st.

Almost a Jerry spell, but at least you can pump up a bunch of people so they can kill s*** better.

Blur

2nd-level illusion

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self
• Components: V
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

Your body becomes blurred, shifting and wavering to all who can see you. For the duration, any creature has disadvantage on attack rolls against you. An attacker is immune to this effect if it doesn’t rely on sight, as with blindsight, or can see through illusions, as with truesight.

If I wanna see blurry, shifting, wavering people in front of me, I’ll just keep drinking.

Burning Hands

1st-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self (15-foot cone)
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

As you hold your hands with thumbs touching and fingers spread, a thin sheet of flames shoots forth from your outstretched fingertips. Each creature in a 15-foot cone must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 3d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

The fire ignites any flammable objects in the area that are not being worn or carried.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

“Sheet of Flames” sounds like a heavy metal concept album.

I dig it.

Charm Person

1st-level enchantment

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: 1 hour

You attempt to charm a humanoid you choose within range. It must make a Wisdom saving throw, and does so with advantage if you or your companions are fighting it. If it fails the saving throw, it is charmed by you until the spell ends or until you or your companions do anything harmful to it. The charmed creature regards you as a friendly acquaintance.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 1st. The creatures must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them.

Jerry needs this spell just to make friends.

If you really wanna charm someone, do what everyone else does—get rich and buy their loyalty.

Command

1st-level enchantment

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V
• Duration: 1 round

You speak a one-word command to a creature you can see within range. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn. The spell has no effect if the target is undead, if it doesn’t understand your language, or if your command is directly harmful to it.

Some typical commands and their effects follow. You might issue a command other than one described here. If you do so, the DM determines how the target behaves. If the target is prevented from following your command, the spell ends.

Approach

The target moves toward you by the shortest and most direct route, ending its turn if it moves within 5 feet of you.

Drop

The target drops whatever it is holding and then ends its turn.

Flee

The target spends its turn moving away from you by the fastest available means.

Grovel

The target falls prone and then ends its turn.

Halt

The target doesn’t move and takes no actions. A flying creature stays aloft, provided that it is able to do so. If it must move to stay aloft, it flies the minimum distance needed to remain in the air.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, you can affect one additional creature for each slot level above 1st. The creatures must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them.

As much as forcing people to grovel amuses me, it’s easier to make ‘em fear you by lighting all their s*** on fire.

Save your spell slots, Morty.

Comprehend Languages

1st-level divination (ritual)

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self
• Components: V, S, M (a pinch of soot and salt)
• Duration: 1 hour

For the duration, you understand the literal meaning of spoken language that you hear. You also understand written language that you see, but you must be touching the surface on which the words are written. It takes about 1 minute to read one page of text.

This spell does not decode secret messages in a text or any glyph, such as an arcane sigil, that isn’t part of a written language.

The only language you need to know in D&D is the language of violence, Morty.

Everyone speaks it and translations are crystal clear. Jerrys want to talk through a battle or “parlay” their asses out of conflict. Never do that.

Cure Wounds

1st-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

A creature you touch regains a number of hit points equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.

It’s a necessary evil. When you get hurt, you gotta get healed. I recommend not getting hurt.

Dancing Lights

Evocation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 120 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a bit of phosphorus or wychwood, or a glowworm)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You create up to four torch-sized lights within range, making them appear as torches, lanterns, or glowing orbs that hover in the air for the duration. You can also combine the four lights into one glowing vaguely humanoid form of Medium size. Whichever form you choose, each light sheds dim light in a 10-foot radius.

As a bonus action on your turn, you can move the lights up to 60 feet to a new spot within range. A light must be within 20 feet of another light created by this spell, and a light winks out if it exceeds the spell’s range.

Pure Jerry. This is life or death combat, not a f***ing rave.

Darkness

2nd-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, M (bat fur and a drop of pitch or piece of coal)

Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

Magical darkness spreads from a point you choose within range to fill a 15-foot-radius sphere for the duration. The darkness spreads around corners. A creature with darkvision can’t see through this darkness, and no nonmagical light can illuminate it.

If the point you choose is on an object you are holding or one that is not being worn or carried, the darkness emanates from the object and moves with it. Covering the source of the darkness with an opaque object, such as a bowl or a helm, blocks the darkness.

If any of this spell’s area overlaps with an area of light created by a spell of 2nd level or lower, the entire area of light is dispelled.

Not as good as blasting monsters, but it has its place. Getting the drop on some sucker and gutting ‘em is pretty sweet.

Detect Magic

1st-level divination (ritual)

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

For the duration, you sense the presence of magic within 30 feet of you. If you sense magic in this way, you can use your action to see a faint aura around any visible creature or object in the area that bears magic, and you learn its school of magic, if any.

The spell can penetrate most barriers, but it is blocked by 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt.

Anything that helps you find more magic loot is fine by me.

Dispel Magic

3rd-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 120 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

Choose one creature, object, or magical effect within range. Any spell of 3rd level or lower on the target ends. For each spell of 4th level or higher on the target, make an ability check using your spellcasting ability. The DC equals 10 + the spell’s level. On a successful check, the spell ends.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you automatically end the effects of a spell on the target if the spell’s level is equal to or less than the level of the spell slot you used.

Why would I waste a spell slot to just get rid of someone else’s spell?

That’s so stupid!

Abjuration is the worst, Morty. I-i-it’s so Jerry.

Feather Fall

1st-level transmutation

• Casting Time: 1 reaction, which you take when you or a creature within 60 feet of you falls
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, M (a small feather or piece of down)
• Duration: 1 minute

Choose up to five falling creatures within range. A falling creature’s rate of descent slows to 60 feet per round until the spell ends. If the creature lands before the spell ends, it takes no falling damage and can land on its feet, and the spell ends for that creature.

Wanna freak people out? Jump off an airship, and while everyone’s screaming, “He’s gonna die!”, cast this little number after you pass through a cloud.

You’ll float safely to the ground, while those suckers are tearily planning your funeral.

Fireball

3rd-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 150 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a tiny ball of bat guano and sulfur)
• Duration: Instantaneous

A bright streak flashes from your pointing finger to a point you choose within range and then blossoms with a low roar into an explosion of flame. Each creature in a 20-foot-radius sphere centered on that point must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 8d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

The fire spreads around corners. It ignites flammable objects in the area that are not being worn or carried.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

If you’re a wizard and don’t take this when it comes available, then just eat your own character sheet.

This is the classic pyro-bomb and it’s beautiful, Morty. Chuck this into a room of monsters and get out the marshmallows.

Flaming Sphere

2nd-level conjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a bit of tallow, a pinch of brimstone, and a dusting of powdered iron)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

A 5-foot-diameter sphere of fire appears in an unoccupied space of your choice within range and lasts for the duration. Any creature that ends its turn within 5 feet of the sphere must make a Dexterity saving throw. The creature takes 2d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

As a bonus action, you can move the sphere up to 30 feet. If you ram the sphere into a creature, that creature must make the saving throw against the sphere’s damage, and the sphere stops moving this turn.

When you move the sphere, you can direct it over barriers up to 5 feet tall and jump it across pits up to 10 feet wide. The sphere ignites flammable objects not being worn or carried, and it sheds bright light in a 20-foot radius and dim light for an additional 20 feet.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 2nd.

This is fireball’s slightly stunted younger brother, Morty. That said, there is something viscerally satisfying about rolling a ball of fire around over a bunch of a-holes.

Fly

3rd-level transmutation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (a wing feather from any bird)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

You touch a willing creature. The target gains a flying speed of 60 feet for the duration. When the spell ends, the target falls if it is still aloft, unless it can stop the fall.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 3rd.

Peeing on your opponents from above is a top shelf move.

Guidance

Divination cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You touch one willing creature. Once before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the ability check. The spell then ends.

If you need this spell to make your ability check, maybe you just shouldn’t do that thing you’re doing? Stay in your lane, Jerry.

Guiding Bolt

1st-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 120 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: 1 round

A flash of light streaks toward a creature of your choice within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 4d6 radiant damage, and the next attack roll made against this target before the end of your next turn has advantage, thanks to the mystical dim light glittering on the target until then.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

Awwww yeah, God Bolt. Give ‘em that radiant damage where the sun don’t shine.

Healing Word

1st-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 bonus action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V
• Duration: Instantaneous

A creature of your choice within range regains hit points equal to 1d4 + your spellcasting ability modifier. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d4 for each slot level above 1st.

You can just utter a word to yourself and you feel quantifiably better, Morty! Your life’s essence goes back up! Who needs a long rest!

Hold Person

2nd-level enchantment

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a small, straight piece of iron)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

Choose a humanoid within range that you can see. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be paralyzed for the duration. At the end of each of its turns, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. On a success, the spell ends on the target.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, you can target one additional humanoid for each slot level above 2nd. The humanoids must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them.

Stopping some dingus in their tracks is aight. Not as cool as lighting them on fire, but maybe that’s step two.

Identify

1st-level divination (ritual)

• Casting Time: 1 minute
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (a pearl worth at least 100 gp and an owl feather)
• Duration: Instantaneous

You choose one object that you must touch throughout the casting of the spell. If it is a magic item or some other magic-imbued object, you learn its properties and how to use them, whether it requires attunement to use, and how many charges it has, if any. You learn whether any spells are affecting the item and what they are. If the item was created by a spell, you learn which spell created it.

If you instead touch a creature throughout the casting, you learn what spells, if any, are currently affecting it.

Learning what magic loot you just pulled off the corpses of your vanquished foes is a worthwhile investment.

Inflict Wounds

1st-level necromancy

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

Make a melee spell attack against a creature you can reach. On a hit, the target takes 3d10 necrotic damage.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d10 for each slot level above 1st.

“Necrotic damage” is a classy way of saying “your taint just rotted off."

Invisibility

2nd-level illusion

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (an eyelash encased in gum arabic)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour

A creature you touch becomes invisible until the spell ends. Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long as it is on the target’s person. The spell ends early for a target that attacks or casts a spell.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 2nd.

Drop eldritch vengeance on your enemies and then VORP right outta sight. Classic.

Lesser Restoration

2nd-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

You touch a creature and can end either one disease or one condition afflicting it. The condition can be blinded, deafened, paralyzed, or poisoned.

The world of D&D is a dirty place, Morty. Th-th-they don’t have body wash or tetanus shots or even tweezers. It’s disgusting when you think about it.

They should just call this spell “Magic Soap."

Light

Evocation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, M (a firefly or phosphorescent moss)
• Duration: 1 hour

You touch one object that is no larger than 10 feet in any dimension. Until the spell ends, the object sheds bright light in a 20-foot radius and dim light for an additional 20 feet. The light can be colored as you like, and covering the object with something opaque blocks the light. The spell ends early if you cast it again or dismiss it as an action.

If you target an object held or worn by a hostile creature, that creature must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw to avoid the spell.

When you’re going down in a dirty hole to kill monsters, it’s kinda useful to be able to see where the f*** they are.

Lightning Bolt

3rd-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self (100-foot line)
• Components: V, S, M (a bit of fur and a rod of amber, crystal, or glass)
• Duration: Instantaneous

A stroke of lightning forming a line 100 feet long and 5 feet wide blasts out from you in a direction you choose. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 8d6 lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

The lightning ignites flammable objects in the area that are not being worn or carried.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.

If you’re stupid and didn’t pick up fireball, then you better grab this. Zap, Crackle, Pop, b*****s!

Mage Armor

1st-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (a piece of cured leather)
• Duration: 8 hours

You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends. The target’s base AC becomes 13 + its Dexterity modifier. The spell ends early if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.

Abjuration is usually garbage, but since wizards are forced to walk around wearing toilet paper for protection because Wizards of the Coast thinks they’re OP, this spell might actually keep you alive.

Mage Hand

Conjuration cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: 1 minute

A spectral, floating hand appears at a point you choose within range. The hand lasts for the duration or until you dismiss it as an action. The hand vanishes if it is ever more than 30 feet away from you or if you cast this spell again.

You can use your action to control the hand. You can use the hand to manipulate an object, open an unlocked door or container, stow or retrieve an item from an open container, or pour the contents out of a vial. You can move the hand up to 30 feet each time you use it.

The hand can’t attack, activate magic items, or carry more than 10 pounds.

Push stuff around.

Trigger a trap from a safe distance.

Mess with your friends.

Pick your horse’s nose while riding said horse.

I-I can keep going.

Magic Missile

1st-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 120 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

You create three glowing darts of magical force. Each dart hits a creature of your choice within range that you can see. A dart deals 1d4 + 1 force damage to its target. The darts all strike simultaneously, and you can direct them to hit one creature or several.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the spell creates one more dart for each slot level above 1st.

Notice this spell’s most important feature, Morty: NO ATTACK ROLL.

It hits and hurts. Simple-dimple. Little glowing arrows of death at your command, and nobody can do s*** about it.

Mass Healing Word

3rd-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 bonus action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V
• Duration: Instantaneous

As you call out words of restoration, up to six creatures you choose within range regain hit points equal to 1d4 + your spellcasting ability modifier. The targets must be within 30 feet of each other. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the healing increases by 1d4 for each slot level above 3rd.

Smart clerics hold this spell in reserve until their party members pay up. These heals don’t come cheap.

Misty Step

2nd-level conjuration

• Casting Time: 1 bonus action
• Range: Self
• Components: V
• Duration: Instantaneous

Briefly surrounded by silvery mist, you teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space that you can see.

Perfect for ripping a big nasty fart and then moving elsewhere for maximum deniability.

Prayer of Healing

2nd-level evocation

• Casting Time: 10 minutes
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V
• Duration: Instantaneous

Up to six creatures of your choice within range each regain hit points equal to 2d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 2nd.

That 10-minute casting time is a buzzkill, but when your crew’s doing the downtime thing, it gives you something to occupy yourself with so you don’t have to participate in their campfire bonding rituals.

Prestidigitation

Transmutation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 10 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Up to 1 hour

This spell is a minor magical trick that novice spellcasters use for practice. You create one of the following magical effects within range:

• Create an instantaneous, harmless sensory effect, such as a shower of sparks, a puff of wind, faint musical notes, or an odd odor.
• Instantaneously light or snuff out a candle, a torch, or a small campfire.
• Instantaneously clean or soil an object no larger than 1 cubic foot.
• Chill, warm, or flavor up to 1 cubic foot of nonliving material for 1 hour.
• Make a color, a small mark, or a symbol appear on an object or a surface for 1 hour.
• Create a nonmagical trinket or an illusory image that can fit in your hand and that lasts until the end of your next turn.

If you cast this spell multiple times, you can have up to three of its non-instantaneous effects active at a time, and you can dismiss such an effect as an action.

I bet at first glance you figured I’d call this as a Jerry spell, but it’s not, Morty. Prestidigitation is awesome! It doesn’t take up any spell slots because it’s a cantrip. That means you can use it constantly… and you should.

Everywhere your wizard goes, they’ll have glittering teeth, musky magic cologne, a warming glow, and their own personal soundtrack. Clean clothes, too. The other members of your party are gonna shamble into town smelling like ass while you get to be Slick McDick, Wizard Supreme.

Protection from Energy

3rd-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour

For the duration, the willing creature you touch has resistance to one damage type of your choice: acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder.

Don’t waste third level spell slots on protecto-trash. Kill your enemies fast and you won’t even need defense.

Ray of Frost

Evocation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

A frigid beam of blue-white light streaks toward a creature within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, it takes 1d8 cold damage, and its speed is reduced by 10 feet until the start of your next turn.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).

This is it, Morty, the third of the holy triumvirate of low-level wizard DPS. It’s a song of ice and fire AND lightning.

Resistance

Abjuration cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (a miniature cloak)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You touch one willing creature. Once before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to one saving throw of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the saving throw. The spell then ends.

Wait, the material component for this is “a miniature cloak”?

Who the f*** is running around with a pouch full of miniature cloaks?

Wizards of the Coast, whatever you’re smoking, I want some.

Revivify

3rd-level necromancy

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (diamonds worth 300 gp, which are consumed when the spell is cast)
• Duration: Instantaneous

You touch a creature that has died within the last minute. That creature returns to life with 1 hit point. This spell cannot return to life a creature that has died of old age, nor can it restore any missing body parts.

Calling the spell “Have you tried not dying?” would be more accurate, but not as catchy.

Sacred Flame

Evocation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

Flame-like radiance descends on a creature within range that you can see. The target must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 1d8 radiant damage. The target gains no benefit from cover for this saving throw.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).

Not bad, but radiant damage means your enemy’s clothes don’t catch on fire, so it’s not as funny.

Sanctuary

1st-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 bonus action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a small silver mirror)
• Duration: 1 minute

You ward a creature within range against attack. Until the spell ends, any creature who targets the warded creature with an attack or a harmful spell must first make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or lose the attack or spell. This spell doesn’t protect the warded creature from area effects, such as the explosion of a fireball.

If the warded creature makes an attack or casts a spell that affects an enemy creature, this spell ends early.

Don’t worry about protecting things, Morty. Everything dies.

Shield

1st-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 reaction, which you take when you are hit by an attack or targeted by the magic missile spell
• Range: Self
• Components: V, S
• Duration: 1 round

An invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you. Until the start of your next turn, you have a +5 bonus to AC, including against the triggering attack, and you take no damage from magic missile.

The spellcasting equivalent of a jockstrap: useful in the right circumstances, but way cooler if you can do your thing without needing it—and eventually it’ll need a wash.

Shield of Faith

1st-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 bonus action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a small parchment with a bit of holy text written on it)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

A shimmering field appears and surrounds a creature of your choice within range, granting it a +2 bonus to AC for the duration.

I dunno, I kinda respect this.

A cleric who takes 10 minutes to concentrate on how much they love their god so you can get punched harder. That’s pretty metal.

Shocking Grasp

Evocation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

Lightning springs from your hand to deliver a shock to a creature you try to touch. Make a melee spell attack against the target. You have advantage on the attack roll if the target is wearing armor made of metal. On a hit, the target takes 1d8 lightning damage, and it can’t take reactions until the start of its next turn.

The spell’s damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).

Like shuffling your feet on a carpet just before slapping some sense into a goblin.

Silence

2nd-level illusion (ritual)

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 120 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

For the duration, no sound can be created within or pass through a 20-foot-radius sphere centered on a point you choose within range. Any creature or object entirely inside the sphere is immune to thunder damage, and creatures are deafened while entirely inside it. Casting a spell that includes a verbal component is impossible there.

I like busting this one out on enemy spellcasters and then throwing up the universal sign language for “Oops! Guess you’re f***ed!"

Sleep

1st-level enchantment

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 90 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a pinch of fine sand, rose petals, or a cricket)
• Duration: 1 minute

This spell sends creatures into a magical slumber. Roll 5d8; the total is how many hit points of creatures this spell can affect. Creatures within 20 feet of a point you choose within range are affected in increasing order of their current hit points (ignoring unconscious creatures).

Starting with the creature that has the lowest current hit points, each creature affected by this spell falls unconscious until the spell ends, the sleeper takes damage, or someone uses an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake. Subtract each creature’s hit points from the total before moving on to the creature with the next lowest hit points. A creature’s hit points must be equal to or less than the remaining total for that creature to be affected.

Undead and creatures immune to being charmed aren’t affected by this spell.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, roll an additional 2d8 for each slot level above 1st.

A spell that requires me to tiptoe around the battlefield is not my style, Morty. Like, I get that it can be useful, but it still just feels like a stopgap.

It’s not full Jerry, but it’s also not rushing into my prepared spell list either.

Spider Climb

2nd-level transmutation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (a drop of bitumen and a spider)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour

Until the spell ends, one willing creature you touch gains the ability to move up, down, and across vertical surfaces and upside down along ceilings, while leaving its hands free. The target also gains a climbing speed equal to its walking speed.

I enjoy throwing spells down from above while walking on the ceiling. I’m man enough to admit it.

Spirit Guardians

3rd-level conjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self (15-foot radius)
• Components: V, S, M (a holy symbol)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes

You call forth spirits to protect you. They flit around you to a distance of 15 feet for the duration. If you are good or neutral, their spectral form appears angelic or fey (your choice). If you are evil, they appear fiendish.

When you cast this spell, you can designate any number of creatures you can see to be unaffected by it. An affected creature’s speed is halved in the area, and when the creature enters the area or starts its turn there, it must make a Wisdom saving throw (no more than once per turn). On a failed save, the creature takes 3d8 radiant damage (if you are good or neutral) or 3d8 necrotic damage (if you are evil). On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 3rd.

Crazy ghosts that zap monsters for you?

That’s f***ing cool.

It’s more hands-off than my typical “crush your enemies, see them driven before you” approach, but I definitely see the appeal.

Spiritual Weapon

2nd-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 bonus action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S
• Duration: 1 minute

You create a floating, spectral weapon within range that lasts for the duration or until you cast this spell again. When you cast the spell, you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within 5 feet of the weapon. On a hit, the target takes force damage equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier.

As a bonus action on your turn, you can move the weapon up to 20 feet and repeat the attack against a creature within 5 feet of it.

The weapon can take whatever form you choose. Clerics of deities who are associated with a particular weapon (as St. Cuthbert is known for his mace and Thor for his hammer) make this spell’s effect resemble that weapon.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for every two slot levels above the 2nd.

There’s nothing as demoralizing as being hit by a big ol’ ghost schlong.

Suggestion

2nd-level enchantment

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V, M (a snake’s tongue and either a bit of honeycomb or a drop of sweet oil)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 8 hours

You suggest a course of activity (limited to a sentence or two) and magically influence a creature you choose within range that can hear and understand you. Creatures that can’t be charmed are immune to this effect. The suggestion must be worded in such a manner as to make the course of action sound reasonable. Asking the creature to stab itself, throw itself onto a spear, immolate itself, or do some other obviously harmful act automatically negates the effect of the spell.

The target must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, it pursues the course of action you described to the best of its ability. The suggested course of action can continue for the entire duration. If the suggested activity can be completed in a shorter time, the spell ends when the subject finishes what it was asked to do.

You can also specify conditions that will trigger a special activity during the duration. For example, you might suggest that a knight give her warhorse to the first beggar she meets. If the condition is not met before the spell expires, the activity is not performed.

If you or any of your companions damage the target, the spell ends early.

Here’s a real suggestion: don’t take a spell that requires 10 minutes of arguing at the table to figure out if it worked or not.

Thaumaturgy

Transmutation cantrip

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 30 feet
• Components: V
• Duration: Up to 1 minute

You manifest a minor wonder, a sign of supernatural power, within range. You create one of the following magical effects within range:

• Your voice booms up to three times as loud as normal for 1 minute.
• You cause flames to flicker, brighten, dim, or change color for 1 minute.
• You cause harmless tremors in the ground for 1 minute.
• You create an instantaneous sound that originates from a point of your choice within range, such as a rumble of thunder, the cry of a raven, or ominous whispers.
• You instantaneously cause an unlocked door or window to fly open or slam shut.
• You alter the appearance of your eyes for 1 minute.

If you cast this spell multiple times, you can have up to three of its 1-minute effects active at a time, and you can dismiss such an effect as an action.

This spell wants to be prestidigitation for clerics, but it’s definitely on the weak side. Here’s some harmless tremors for you—FAAART

Thunderwave

1st-level evocation

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Self (15-foot cube)
• Components: V, S
• Duration: Instantaneous

A wave of thunderous force sweeps out from you. Each creature in a 15-foot cube originating from you must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 2d8 thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet away from you. On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and is not pushed.

In addition, unsecured objects that are completely within the area of effect are automatically pushed 10 feet away from you by the spell’s effect, and the spell emits a thunderous boom audible out to 300 feet.

At Higher Levels

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.

Let this baby fly when the bass drops, Morty. Trust me. The crowd will go wild.

Warding Bond

2nd-level abjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: Touch
• Components: V, S, M (a pair of platinum rings worth at least 50 gp each, which you and the target must wear for the duration)
• Duration: 1 hour

This spell wards a willing creature you touch and creates a mystic connection between you and the subject until the spell ends. While the target is within 60 feet of you, it gains a +1 bonus to AC and saving throws, and it has resistance to all damage. Also, each time it takes damage, you take the same amount of damage.

The spell ends early if you drop to 0 hit points or if you and the subject become separated by more than 60 feet. You can also dismiss the spell as an action.

Here’s a better idea: How about I don’t link my life force to somebody else? I don’t know or trust any of these clowns.

Web

2nd-level conjuration

• Casting Time: 1 action
• Range: 60 feet
• Components: V, S, M (a bit of spiderweb)
• Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour

You conjure a mass of thick, sticky webbing at a point of your choice within range. The webs fill a 20-foot cube from that point for the duration. The webs are difficult terrain and lightly obscure their area.

If the webs are not anchored between two solid masses (such as walls or trees) or layered across a floor, wall, or ceiling, the conjured web collapses on itself, and the spell ends at the start of your next turn. Webs layered over a flat surface have a depth of 5 feet.

Each creature that starts its turn in the webs or that enters them during its turn must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is restrained as long as it remains in the webs or until it breaks free.

A creature restrained by the webs can use its action to make a Strength check against your spell save DC. If it succeeds, it is no longer restrained.

The webs are flammable. Any 5-foot cube of webs exposed to fire burns away in 1 round, dealing 2d4 fire damage to any creature that starts its turn in the fire.

I’m not here to tell anyone where and when they should blow their personal sticky load, y’know? Th-th-that’s a personal choice.

Everybody needs to make their own decisions.