The Dungeons & Dragons Roleplaying Game is about storytelling in worlds of swords and sorcery. Like games of make-believe, D&D is driven by imagination. It’s about picturing a crumbling castle in a darkening forest and imagining how a fantasy adventurer might react to the challenges that scene presents. In this fantasy world, the possibilities are limitless.

That’s a really poetic o-o-opening, Morty, and it’s all kinda mostly true, but the theater major who wrote that forgot to mention…

POWER, morty!

The most important part of D&D.

People play this game because they want limitless power and treasure and to act like a complete badass all the time.

I-I-I mean, honestly, it’s the illusion of power, Morty. We play games to distract ourselves from the reality that the universe is an unfeeling, uncontrollable s***storm and everything we do is {@i MEANINGLESS}, but fine, fine. That’s just a b-b-BURP-baseline assumption we have to make because this is a human game for human people.

W-w-we’re not playing Glabbins & Gunchins with a buncha Bloofians, now are we? No, no we’re not.

Dungeons & Dragons is a portal gun to {@i INFINITE IDEAS} and {@i INFINITE POWER} without n-n-needing to be a genius like me who built one, Morty. It’s not as good as a portal gun, but it’s also a lot cheaper and doesn’t require unstable energy sources to operate.

it’s good stuff.

Dungeon Master (DM): The castle stands among the trees, the crumbling ruins of seven round towers jutting up from it like broken teeth. An archway littered with twisted shards of rusted metal gapes open at the top of a short flight of steps. Two of the towers, speckled with dark arrow slits, loom beside the entryway, and a dark hall yawns beyond.

Phillip (cleric): Let’s send the rogue up ahead to look in and make sure it’s safe.

Amy (rogue): OK, I’ll move to the side and sneak along the wall of the tower until I can peer in through the entrance.

What kind of cleric sends somebody in to die for them, anyway? He’s totally complicit, Morty.

Unlike a game of make-believe, D&D gives structure to the stories—a way of determining the consequences of the adventurers' actions. Players roll dice to determine whether their attacks hit or miss and whether their characters can scale a cliff, roll away from the strike of a magical lightning bolt, or pull off some other dangerous task. Anything is possible, but the dice make some things more probable than others.

Calculate probabilities all you want, Morty, but don’t get caught up in it, because the minute you do, those dice are gonna p-p-punish you, Morty. Fate is a fickle mistress.

DM: All right, Amy, let’s see how sneaky you are. Make a Dexterity check.

Amy: With my Stealth skill, right?

DM: You bet.

Amy (rolling a d20): I’m pretty sneaky—that’s a 17.

DM: OK, there’s no sign that anyone notices you. And you’re looking inside?

When you play D&D, you take on the role of an adventurer: a skilled fighter, a devout cleric, a deadly rogue, or a spellcasting wizard. (The character sheets included in this set describe five heroes to get you started.) With some friends and a little imagination, you strike out on grand quests and daring adventures, testing yourself against an array of challenges and bloodthirsty monsters.

One player takes on the role of the Dungeon Master, the game’s lead storyteller and referee. The DM is in charge of the adventure, which appears in the adventure book, while the characters navigate the adventure’s hazards and decide where to explore. The DM might describe the entrance to a ruined castle, and the players decide what they want their adventurers to do. Will they boldly stride up to the fallen gate, or try to sneak up in case anyone’s watching through those arrow slits? Circle around the castle looking for another entrance? Or cast a spell to cloak themselves in invisibility?

Yeah and no.

Being a Dungeon Master is all that stuff, but it’s a lot more than that.

H1 playing d&d is good, but running it is a total power load, morty!

Y-y-you get to be a god, Morty. You control the h-h-horizontal and the vertical. Y-y-ou tell the players what’s going on and then you entertain their asses with your brilliance, Morty. You get a little taste of what it’s like to be me, all the time. I’m your teacher now. School can’t help you here. School is a prison. Ninety-two percent of races in the universe don’t even believe in schools—because they know. They already know.

Anyway, the point is, the Dungeon Master is in charge, and since I don’t want that balding little turd from the cartoon messing with us again, that means I’m in charge. O-o-or if you’re reading this book right now, which you are if you’re seeing these words, th-th-then you’re in charge! {@i YOU! }I totally just deputized you by the power of Greyhawk, or whatever it is.

This is a book for new players so they don’t want to blow your mind, Morty, but stuff can get wild. Literally, if you can imagine it, it can be in your game!

I’m talking about owlbears, Morty!

Th-th-that’s an owl mixed with a bear! And they lay eggs, Morty! {@i OWLBEAR EGGS}! You crack open one of those and a giant beak-faced heap of goop comes out. I-i-it’s delicious on toast. You’ve gotta try it.

Anyway, that’s just the tip of iceberg. Take a gander through the Monster Manual sometime and get a glimpse of what these sick designers come up with. It’ll blow your mind, Morty.

The DM determines the results of the adventurers' actions and narrates what the characters experience. Because the DM can improvise to react to anything the players attempt, D&D is infinitely flexible, and each adventure can be exciting and unexpected.

{@i “UNEXPECTED”} i-i-is the key word there, Morty. Your job as the DM is to mess with player expectations. mess them up real good. Set ‘em up and then tweak their nipples, Morty. You’re not winning until someone cries. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

There’s no winning and losing in D&D—at least not the way those terms are usually understood. Together, the DM and the players create a story of bold adventurers who confront deadly perils. Sometimes an adventurer might come to a grisly end, torn apart by ferocious monsters or done in by a nefarious villain. Even so, the other adventurers can search for powerful magic to revive their fallen comrade, or the player might choose to play a new character. The group might fail to complete an adventure successfully, but if the players had a good time and created a memorable story, they all win.

Th-th-that makes for a nice sales pitch, but it’s horse poop, Morty. Life is all about “winners” and “losers.” Captain Drama-Pants here doesn’t want to admit that when his character dies, he’s a loser, but he is.

Lemme make this really clear: {@i THE DUNGEON MASTER IS THE WINNER BY DEFAULT.}

B-b-being in charge and messing with your friends makes you top dog, dawg. After that, it comes down to who gets the most phat loot, experience points, and who rolled the best.

I-i-if creating some compelling narrative about your m-m-motivations for saving your brother the Prince of Pituitary who was taken by rabid rust monsters gets your rocks off, well then whoop-de-doo for you, but i-i-in the end it all comes down to {@i POWER} and {@i CONTROL}. Y-y-you’ve got it, or you don’t.

Getting Started

If this is your first time playing Dungeons & Dragons, start by reading the rest of this chapter. It tells you the most important rules you need to play the game.

Someone needs to be the Dungeon Master for your first play experience. Since you’re reading this, you’re a good candidate to be the DM. (If one of your friends knows how to play D&D already, you might want to ask that person to be the DM and help you learn the game.) Once you’ve read this chapter, take a look at the first few pages of the adventure book. That will help you understand the role of the DM and the basics of a D&D adventure.

Thanks, book. I’m gonna show Morty and everyone else how Dungeon Mastering really works.

{@i D&D RICKTH EDITION} takes the b-b-BURP-basics and blows them out a demon lord’s turdhole.

From there, look over the rest of this book. You don’t need to memorize everything before your first game, but it helps if you know where to find the rules while you play. Then get familiar with the adventure, and you’ll be ready to gather your friends together to play.

Each player chooses one character from the five options included. It’s up to the players to turn these bare-bones characters into people by giving them names, describing their appearance, and bringing them to life while playing through the adventure. If you have more than five players, it’s OK for two players to use the same character, as long as they make the details of the character distinct; one cleric might be a jolly woman named Sefris, while the other is a severe man named Albric.

Using the same character as someone else is kind of a dick move, but I get it. A non-genius human mind can only handle so many options, and f-f-five is all they put in this box, so go with what you’ve got, right? It’s probably easier to just get rid of one of your friends. {@i LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP ARE} B-B-BURP-{@i BIOLOGICAL BULLST**} Also, I might just be editorializing at this point, but who names a character Albric? Use the real name of somebody at the table. What are they gonna do about it?

Game Dice

The game uses polyhedral dice. In these rules, the different dice are referred to by the letter d followed by the number of sides: d4, d6, d8, d10 (the 0 on the die represents a 10), d12, and d20. For instance, a d6 is a six-sided die.

Percentile dice, or d100, work a little differently. You generate a number between 1 and 100 by rolling the ten-sided die twice. The first roll gives the tens digit, and the second gives the ones digit. If you roll a 7 and a 1, for example, the number rolled is 71. Two 0s represent 100.

When you need to roll dice, the rules tell you how many dice to roll of a certain type, as well as what modifiers to apply. For example, “3d8 + 5” means you roll three eight-sided dice, add them together, and add 5 to the total.

There’s only one set in here, so that means they’re mine. Get your own dice. That way you can blame them for all your shortcomings. Tell your friends to get their own set, too.

If you start sharing dice, people will start expecting you to share everything. You gotta nip that in the bud, or the next thing you know, you’ll wake up in an alley without a kidney.

You can never have too many dice, Morty!

The Structure of Play

The D&D game consists of a group of characters (controlled by the players) embarking on an adventure that the DM presents. The adventure is the heart of the game. An adventure unfolds as a story that the DM and the other players tell together using the material in the adventure book, in another published adventure, or in a setting of the DM’s creation. The DM sets the scene at the start, giving the adventurers a reason to get involved. They are the protagonists of the story. The players control what they do, and the DM controls the monsters and people the adventurers meet. The DM also decides how the world changes as a result of the adventurers’ actions.

Ha-HA! It’s right there in the rules, Morty! The DM decides! Suck it, everyone else!

Play of an adventure unfolds according to this basic pattern:

1. The DM describes the environment

The DM tells the players where their adventurers are and what’s around them, presenting the basic scope of options available: how many doors lead out of a room, what’s on a table, who’s in the tavern, and so on. The players can ask questions to make sure they understand what their characters perceive.

Don’t let players trick you, Morty.

Players constantly ask questions as a way to try and make stuff happen that you didn’t intend. Are they spending too much time investigating that stupid dark corner in the tavern? Now there’s a tentacle monster in it.

2. The players describe what they want to do

Sometimes one player speaks for the whole group, saying, “We’ll take the east door,” for example. Other times, different adventurers do different things. One adventurer might search a treasure chest while a second one examines an esoteric symbol engraved on a wall and a third one keeps watch for monsters. The players don’t need to take turns, but the DM listens to every player and decides how to resolve those actions.

Sometimes, resolving a task is easy. If an adventurer wants to walk across a room and open a door, the DM might just say that the door opens and describe what lies beyond. But the door might be locked, the floor might hide a deadly trap, or some other circumstance might make it challenging for an adventurer to complete a task. In those cases, the DM decides what happens, often relying on the roll of a die to determine the results of an action.

Here’s an extra tip: if you’re the DM, you can roll your dice behind a fancy screen and lie like crazy about the results.

Y-y-you don’t want to be obvious about it, Morty—like, try to pretend that you actually rolled that number—b-b-but if you want a certain outcome, just lie like crazy.

They can question you about it, and they don’t have to like the answers. That’s on them.

3. The DM narrates the results of the adventurers' actions.

Describing the results often leads to another decision point, which brings the flow of the game right back to step 1.

This pattern holds whether the adventurers are cautiously exploring an ancient ruin, talking to a devious prince, or locked in mortal combat against a dragon. In certain situations, particularly combat, the action is more structured and the players (and DM) do take turns choosing and resolving actions. But most of the time, play is fluid, adapting to the circumstances of the adventure.

Often the action of an adventure takes place wholly in the imagination of the players and DM, relying on the DM’s verbal descriptions to set the scene. Some DMs like to use music, art, or recorded sound effects to help set the mood, and many players and DMs alike adopt different voices for the various adventurers, monsters, and other characters they play in the game. Sometimes, a DM might lay out a map and use tokens or miniature figures to represent each creature involved in a scene to help the players keep track of where everyone is.

Miniatures and maps are fine, j-j-just don’t get carried away, Morty. One time I got really drunk and grew actual miniatures of creatures and characters and put ‘em in a little dungeon together because I thought it would be more realistic and save time, but

IT WAS A F***ING DISASTER!

The tiny characters whined because they didn’t have food and they were starving, and the little monsters just started shedding and barfing everywhere.

It was a real mess.

What’s Next?

This set is a complete Dungeons & Dragons experience, enough to provide hours of play. You can even play through the adventure book multiple times. You might be surprised at how differently things can turn out! But one of the most rewarding things about D&D is that it provides the opportunity to create characters, and even worlds, of your own.

For tools and other products to help you make your own characters, visit DungeonsandDragons.com. There you will find the basic rules of the game for free. Those rules tell you how to create your own character to supplement or replace the characters in this set, as well as how to advance a character beyond 5th level.

If you want to create a greater variety of characters or populate your adventures with other monsters, check out the fifth edition Player’s Handbook, Monster Manual, and Dungeon Master’s Guide. These advanced rulebooks introduce you to the vast multiverse of D&D and invite you to create unique characters and worlds within it.

DAMN, MORTY!

It’s only chapter 1 and these wily sons of b****es are already going for the upsell. Capitalism at work, Morty.

Halving

Round down whenever the game requires you to halve a number. For example, if you halve 15, you get 7.

L-l-leave it to Wizards of the Coast to reinvent {@i MATH}!

JEEZ.

Six Abilities

Six abilities provide a quick game description of every character’s and monster’s physical and mental characteristics:

• Strength, measuring physical power
• Dexterity, measuring agility
• Constitution, measuring endurance
• Intelligence, measuring reasoning and memory
• Wisdom, measuring perception and insight
• Charisma, measuring force of personality

Is a character muscle-bound and insightful? Brilliant and charming? Nimble and hardy? For each of the six abilities, a character or monster has an ability score to measure it, typically ranging from 3 to 18. An adventurer can have a score as high as 20. A monster can have one as high as 30.

The most important function of an ability score is providing an ability modifier that usually ranges from −1 (for a score of 8 or 9) to +4 (for a score of 18). This modifier applies to ability checks, saving throws, and attack rolls, as explained in the next few sections.

here’s what you really need to know about these abilities, morty:

STRENGTH: How to hit stuff

DEXTERITY: How to keep from being hit by stuff

CONSTITUTION: How to survive getting hit by stuff

INTELLIGENCE: Good for arcane stuff

WISDOM: Finding stuff

CHARISMA: Dump stat, ignore it

Ability Scores and Modifiers

Notice how they’ve got stats there up to 30 even though you can only start with a max of 20? That’s there to show you a simple fact of life: S-s-some things are just better than you, Morty. I mean, a lot of things are better than you, but I also mean here in the world of D&D.} Anything 8 or lower I call a {@i “blart." It comes from this dimension I found where all numbers less than 9 have the same term: “blart.” It means fart. Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, nine, ten, eleven, you get it. Anyway, blarts stink, Morty.

The Core Rule

Does an adventurer’s sword swing hurt a dragon or bounce off its iron-hard scales? Does the ogre believe an outrageous bluff? Can a character swim across a raging river? Does a character avoid the main blast of a fireball or take full damage from the blaze? When the outcome of an action is uncertain, the game relies on the roll of a d20 to determine success or failure. Ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws are the three main kinds of d20 rolls. For each one, you roll a d20, add any bonuses or penalties, and compare the total to a target number. If the total equals or exceeds it, you succeed. Here are those steps in more detail:

1. Roll the die

Roll a d20, then add the modifier of the ability score used for the roll. A Dexterity saving throw, for instance, uses your Dexterity modifier.

2. Apply circumstantial bonuses and penalties

A spell, a particular circumstance, or some other effect might give a bonus or penalty to the roll.

3. Compare the total to a target number

If the total equals or exceeds the target number, the roll is a success. Otherwise, it’s a failure. The target number for an ability check or saving throw is called a Difficulty Class (DC). For an attack roll, it’s the Armor Class (AC) of the target being attacked. The DM is usually the one who determines target numbers and tells players whether their ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws succeed or fail.

Ability checks are discussed on the following page, saving throws later in this chapter. Attack rolls are described in chapter 2.

4. The Dungeon Master is always right.

I-I-I don’t know why they didn’t include that in their supposed “core rules,” but that should actually be number 1. J-j-just scratch out the order of the other stuff and put that at the top.The DM also tells people when they’re being stupid.

Advantage and Disadvantage

Sometimes a special ability or spell tells you that you have advantage or disadvantage on a d20 roll. When that happens, you roll a second d20 when you make the roll. Use the higher of the two rolls if you have advantage, and use the lower roll if you have disadvantage. For example, if you have disadvantage and roll a 17 and a 5, you use the 5. If you instead have advantage and roll those numbers, you use the 17.

If multiple situations affect a roll and each one grants advantage or imposes disadvantage on it, you don’t roll more than one additional d20. If two favorable situations grant advantage, for example, you still roll only one additional d20.

If circumstances cause a roll to have both advantage and disadvantage, you are considered to have neither of them, and you roll one d20. This is true even if multiple circumstances impose disadvantage and only one grants advantage or vice versa. In such a situation, you have neither advantage nor disadvantage.

When you have advantage or disadvantage and something in the game lets you reroll the d20, you can reroll only one of the dice. You choose which one.

Th-th-this {@i ADVANTAGE/DISADVANTAGE} thing is perfect to use against annoying players.

If your player Maureen says, “Shouldn’t these goblins run away after we killed seventy-two of their pals?” you just look her right in the eye and say, “No, Maureen. They shouldn’t. These g-g-goblins are hopped up on gnoll blood they chugged before the battle and now they’ve got advantage, so how do you like that, Maureeeeen?"

And don’t let players turn this back on you either. When Maureen’s character Flardo the Fearless tries to chug gnoll blood on his own, you just shake your head and say, “Awwwww nuts, Maureen. That gnoll blood is toxic to dwarves, so now you’ve got disadvantage on all your rolls, Maureeeeen."

Finger guns optional.

Ability Checks

An ability check tests a character’s or monster’s innate talent and training in an effort to overcome a challenge. The DM calls for an ability check when a character or monster attempts an action (other than an attack) that has a chance of failure. A character might make a Strength check to force open a door, an Intelligence check to make sense of clues, or a Wisdom check to notice goblins lying in ambush along the road. When the outcome is uncertain, the dice determine the results.

To make an ability check, roll a d20 and add the appropriate ability modifier. You use your Strength modifier for a Strength check, for example.

If the total equals or exceeds the DC, the ability check is a success. Otherwise, the check is a failure, which means the character or monster makes no progress toward the objective or makes progress combined with a setback determined by the DM.

Often, the adventure book tells the DM what kind of check a character can make, the DC of the check, and what happens if the character succeeds or fails. Since characters often try unpredictable things, though, the adventure book also provides advice to help the DM decide what kind of ability check and DC to use in a particular situation.

{@i ABILITY CHECKS} are another solid way to punish players who question you, Morty.

make them do ability checks for every last little thing until they acknowledge your superiority.

Sorry, Hoyt. You’ve forgotten how to use your legs, so you’ll need to make an Intelligence check to reignite your synapses and remind your limbs how to function.

Oh, you made it? Cool, cool. How about a Dexterity check to see if enough blood is pumping through those legs to walk straight and avoid traps at the same time?

Did I just say “traps?” Damn straight, Hoyty-toyty. Now make a Wisdom check to see if you notice the razor wire perfectly positioned to cleave Flardo’s feet from his ankles.

ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY F***ING QUESTIONS? DIDN’T THINK SO.

Proficiency Bonus

You might be particularly skilled at a certain kind of task related to an ability check. The character sheets list each character’s proficiencies with skills and special tools, and the monster statistics in the adventure book show monsters’ proficiencies. If you have proficiency in a skill, such as Acrobatics or Deception, you add your proficiency bonus to ability checks you make that use that skill. If you have proficiency with a certain tool, such as thieves' tools, you add your proficiency bonus to ability checks you make using those tools. You never add your proficiency bonus more than once to the same d20 roll.

Th-th-these {@i INCREMENTAL BONUSES}} don’t seem like much, but you’ve gotta watch out because players will nickel and dime every miniscule bonus they can to try and “win."

Be ready with a penalty or disadvantage any time you need to wipe that smile off their face.

Contests

Sometimes one character’s or monster’s efforts are directly opposed to another’s. This can occur when both of them are trying to do the same thing and only one can succeed, such as attempting to snatch up a magic ring that has fallen on the floor. This situation also applies when one of them is trying to prevent the other one from accomplishing a goal—for example, when a monster tries to force open a door that an adventurer is holding closed. In situations like these, the outcome is determined by a special form of ability check, called a contest.

Both participants in a contest make ability checks appropriate to their efforts. They apply all appropriate bonuses and penalties, but instead of comparing the total to a DC, they compare the totals of their two checks.

The participant with the higher check total wins the contest. That character or monster either succeeds at the action or prevents the other one from succeeding.

If the contest results in a tie, the situation remains the same as it was before the contest. Thus, one contestant might win the contest by default. If two characters tie in a contest to snatch a ring off the floor, neither character grabs it. In a contest between a monster trying to open a door and an adventurer trying to keep the door closed, a tie means that the door remains shut.

A good DM knows when to force players to make contested rolls against each other, Morty. **You wanna keep the adventuring party from operating too efficiently, ** so put ‘em in situations where they need to arm wrestle for rations at the campsite or have a drinking contest at dinner with the Duke of Dingleberry.

Skills

Each ability covers a broad range of capabilities, including skills that a character can be proficient in. A skill represents a specific aspect of an ability score, and a character’s proficiency in a skill demonstrates a focus on that aspect.

A Dexterity check might, for example, reflect a character’s attempt to pull off an acrobatic stunt, to palm an object, or to stay hidden. Each of these aspects of Dexterity has an associated skill: Acrobatics, Sleight of Hand, and Stealth, respectively. So a character who has proficiency in the Stealth skill is particularly good at Dexterity checks related to sneaking and hiding.

Sometimes, the DM might ask for an ability check using a specific skill—for example, “Make a Wisdom (Perception) check.” At other times, a player might ask the DM if proficiency in a particular skill applies to a check. In either case, proficiency in a skill means a character can add his or her proficiency bonus to ability checks that use that skill. Without proficiency in the skill, the character makes a normal ability check.

For example, if a character attempts to climb up a dangerous cliff, the Dungeon Master might ask for a Strength (Athletics) check. If the character is proficient in Athletics, the character’s proficiency bonus is added to the Strength check. If the character lacks that proficiency, he or she just makes a Strength check.

Here’s a little cutting-edge f***ery you can pull on your players, Morty:

COMBINE THEIR WORST ATTRIBUTE WITH A RANDOM SKILL THAT DOESN’T GO WITH IT

just to mess with their m-m-minds.

“I’d like you to make an Intelligence (Athletics) check."

“Aw geez, DM Rick. Why do I have to do that?"

“Because mind and body are one, Morty. You have to remember how to swim, and if you don’t, you drown."

Strength Checks

Strength measures bodily power, athletic training, and the extent to which you can exert raw physical force. A Strength check can model any attempt to lift, push, pull, or break something, to force your body through a space, or to otherwise apply brute force to a situation. The Athletics skill reflects aptitude in certain kinds of Strength checks.

Athletics

Your Strength (Athletics) check covers difficult situations you encounter while climbing, jumping, or swimming. Examples include the following activities:

• You attempt to climb a sheer or slippery cliff, avoid hazards while scaling a wall, or cling to a surface while something is trying to knock you off.
• You try to jump an unusually long distance or pull off a stunt midjump.
• You struggle to swim or stay afloat in treacherous currents, storm-tossed waves, or areas of thick seaweed. Or another creature tries to push or pull you underwater or otherwise interfere with your swimming.
• You have a real bad day and you gotta slime monster right up your butt, and you g-gotta yank it out, Morty. You gotta brute strength this thing. You can’t leave a slime monster in there, Morty. It’ll make a nest.

Dexterity Checks

Dexterity measures physical agility, reflexes, and balance. A Dexterity check can model any attempt to move nimbly, quickly, or quietly, or to keep from falling on tricky footing. The Acrobatics, Sleight of Hand, and Stealth skills reflect aptitude in certain kinds of Dexterity checks.

ACROBATICS

D-d-don’t let players convince you that they can use Dexterity (Acrobatics) to d-d-dodge attacks or any of that s***. Skills are for non-combat rolls only, dawg.

Players will walk all over you if you let them, Morty. They’ll squeeze every last ounce out of the rules if you’re not careful. Stay vigilant, or they’ll start having a lot of fun.

Acrobatics

Your Dexterity (Acrobatics) check covers your attempt to stay on your feet in a tricky situation, such as when you’re trying to run across a sheet of ice, balance on a tightrope, or stay upright on a rocking ship’s deck. The DM might also call for a Dexterity (Acrobatics) check to see if you can perform acrobatic stunts, including dives, rolls, somersaults, and flips.

Sleight of Hand

Whenever you attempt an act of legerdemain or manual trickery, such as planting something on someone else or concealing an object on your person, make a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check. The DM might also call for a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check to determine whether you can lift a coin purse off another person or slip something out of another person’s pocket.

SLEIGHT OF HAND

Stealing is a time-honored D&D tradition, Morty. Rogues do it, obviously, but everyone else does too.

EVEN CLERICS!

Don’t let that “holy” façade fool you. Th-th-they’re just as twisted and misanthropic as everyone else in D&D, they just hide it better. Their religion is just a cover for their fantasy pawn shop.

That’s just my opinion, Morty. W-W-Wizards of the Coast doesn’t say that anywhere, that’s just me.

Stealth

Make a Dexterity (Stealth) check when you attempt to conceal yourself from enemies, slink past guards, slip away without being noticed, or sneak up on someone without being seen or heard.

STEALTH

Sneaking around and stealing is where it’s at, so if you wanna be smart like your grandpa, make sure you crank that Dex up, you dig?

Hiding and Vision

When you try to hide, make a Dexterity (Stealth) check. Until you are discovered or you stop hiding, that check’s total is contested by the Wisdom (Perception) check of any creature that actively searches for signs of your presence.

You can’t hide from a creature that can see you, and if you make noise (such as shouting a warning or knocking over a vase), you give away your position. An invisible creature can’t be seen, so it can always try to hide. Signs of its passage might still be noticed, however, and it still has to stay quiet.

Passive Perception: When you hide, there’s a chance someone will notice you even if they aren’t searching. To determine whether such a creature notices you, the DM compares your Dexterity (Stealth) check with that creature’s passive Wisdom (Perception) score, which equals 10 + the creature’s Wisdom modifier, as well as any other bonuses or penalties. If the creature has advantage, add 5. For disadvantage, subtract 5.

For example, if a 1st-level character (with a proficiency bonus of +2) has a Wisdom of 15 (a +2 modifier) and proficiency in Perception, they have a passive Wisdom (Perception) score of 14.

What Can You See: One of the main factors in determining whether you can find a hidden creature or object is how well you can see in an area, which might be lightly or heavily obscured. In a lightly obscured area—such as dim light, patchy fog, or moderate foliage—creatures have disadvantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on sight. In a heavily obscured area—such as darkness, opaque fog, or dense foliage—vision is blocked, effectively imposing the blinded condition, as explained in the appendix.

S-s-sure you can memorize all this if you want: passive blah-blah and how much of a character’s ass is sticking out or whatever, but if you wanna do this Rick-style, here’s how it goes: roll a d20 behind your DM screen and then—it doesn’t matter what the roll was, just look at the players, squint your eyes a bit, and say:

“oops. they spotted you."

{@i BAM-A-LAM!} Problem solved. Saves you a lotta trouble, Morty. Gets you to the good stuff.

Constitution Checks

Constitution measures health, stamina, and vital force. Constitution checks are uncommon, and no skills apply to Constitution checks, because the endurance this ability represents is largely passive rather than involving a specific effort on the part of a character or monster. A Constitution check can model your attempt to push beyond normal limits, however.

WOW! THEY R-R-REALLY SCRIMPED ON THIS PART, HUH MORTY!

There are tons of ways to use Constitution checks that these ding-dongs don’t want you to know about. They don’t have vision like I do, Morty. They don’t see the big picture. Here are some great Constitution checks that “push beyond normal limits”:

• When your character is at a fancy dinner with the Duchess of Dingleberry and suddenly has a monster fart, can they hold it in? You gotta be a hero sometimes, Morty. You might think that’s Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics), but trust me, Morty, that’s p-p-pure Constitution right there.

• Have you ever got a paper cut in the webby part between your fingers, Morty? It’s the most painful thing in the universe. No one can even see it, but it still b-b-BURP-burns, Morty. Paper cuts can happen at any moment, and when they do, you’ve just got to keep it together. The world’s a dangerous place, Morty. I can’t believe they didn’t mention that Constitution’s how you keep your s*** locked down.

• Drinking! Look, I kn-kn-know the D&D people don’t want to glorify drinking in a game for 13-year-olds, but y-y-you’re {@i 14}, Morty. Also, this is the theater of the mind, or whatever, so it’s not real drinking—but trust me, you’re gonna love that too.

Intelligence Checks

Intelligence measures mental acuity, strength of recall, and the ability to reason. An Intelligence check comes into play when you need to draw on logic, education, memory, or deductive reasoning. The Arcana, History, Investigation, Nature, and Religion skills reflect aptitude in certain kinds of Intelligence checks.

Arcana

Your Intelligence (Arcana) check measures your ability to recall lore about spells, magic items, eldritch symbols, magical traditions, the planes of existence, and the inhabitants of those planes.

History

Your Intelligence (History) check measures your ability to recall lore about historical events, legendary people, ancient kingdoms, past disputes, recent wars, and lost civilizations.

Investigation

When you look around for clues and make deductions based on those clues, you make an Intelligence (Investigation) check. You might deduce the location of a hidden object, discern from the appearance of a wound what kind of weapon dealt it, or determine the weakest point in a tunnel that could cause it to collapse. Poring through ancient scrolls in search of a hidden fragment of knowledge might also call for an Intelligence (Investigation) check.

Nature

Your Intelligence (Nature) check measures your ability to recall lore about terrain, plants and animals, the weather, and natural cycles.

Religion

Your Intelligence (Religion) check measures your ability to recall lore about deities, rites and prayers, religious hierarchies, holy symbols, and the practices of secret cults.

What the hell is this doing under Intelligence? I’ve had enough people try to worship me to know religions are a crock, Morty.

Wisdom Checks

Wisdom reflects how attuned you are to the world around you, representing perceptiveness and intuition. A Wisdom check might reflect an effort to read body language, understand someone’s feelings, notice things about the environment, or care for an injured person. The Animal Handling, Insight, Medicine, Perception, and Survival skills reflect aptitude in certain kinds of Wisdom checks.

Animal Handling

When there is any question whether you can calm down a domesticated animal, keep a mount from getting spooked, or intuit an animal’s intentions, the DM might call for a Wisdom (Animal Handling) check. You also make a Wisdom (Animal Handling) check to control your mount when you attempt a risky maneuver.

ANIMAL HANDLING

S-s-some players think they’re animal whisperers, Morty. Don’t let them befriend animals in your game. It always starts with one wolf or squirrel, then, next thing you know, you’re tracking a f***ing {@i MENAGERIE}, each one with their own character sheet. N-n-no pets!

Insight

Your Wisdom (Insight) check decides whether you can determine the true intentions of a creature, such as when searching out a lie or predicting someone’s next move. Doing so involves gleaning clues from body language, speech habits, and changes in mannerisms.

INSIGHT

S-s-some players use Insight on everything, Morty. They think they’re Sherlock Holmes, analyzing every word they hear, looking for hidden meanings.

There’s no meaning to any of this, Morty. Not D&D, not life, nothing. So here’s how you deal with this:

Tell them that there’s something fishy going on, but refuse to elaborate, no matter how high they roll.

OR

Grab a random scrap of paper from behind your DM screen and scribble a symbol on it, just seriously anything, then surreptitiously slide it over to them.

Don’t tell them what it is or answer any other questions. If they roll Wisdom (Insight) again, give ‘em another scribble. Another roll. More scraps of garbage. They’ll drive themselves insane trying to figure out what it all means. People can’t handle secrets, Morty. Their minds are weak.

Medicine

A Wisdom (Medicine) check lets you try to stabilize a dying companion or diagnose an illness.

Medicine

Medieval medicine isn’t pretty, Morty. Even in a fantasy world, they don’t know jack about germs or pathogens or antib-b-b-BURP-biotics.

Perception

Your Wisdom (Perception) check lets you spot, hear, or otherwise detect the presence of something. It measures your general awareness of your surroundings and the keenness of your senses. For example, you might try to hear a conversation through a closed door, eavesdrop under an open window, or hear monsters moving stealthily in the forest. Or you might try to spot things that are obscured or easy to miss, whether they are orcs lying in ambush on a road, thugs hiding in the shadows of an alley, or candlelight under a closed secret door.

PERCEPTION

That Insight stuff I mentioned earlier goes double for Perception, Morty.

Some players just can’t stop staring and listening and sniffing instead of doing. It can’t all be that interesting, but they’re gonna try anyway.

Survival

The DM might ask you to make a Wisdom (Survival) check to follow tracks, hunt wild game, guide your group through frozen wastelands, identify signs that owlbears live nearby, predict the weather, or avoid quicksand and other natural hazards.

SURVIVAL

If a player really pisses you off, make them roll Wisdom (Survival) for everything:

make their butt cheeks clench in fear every time you look in their direction.

Charisma Checks

Charisma measures your ability to interact effectively with others. It includes such factors as confidence and eloquence. A Charisma check might arise when you try to influence or entertain others, when you try to make an impression or tell a convincing lie, or when you are navigating a tricky social situation. The Deception, Intimidation, Performance, and Persuasion skills reflect aptitude in certain kinds of Charisma checks.

Deception

Your Charisma (Deception) check determines whether you can convincingly hide the truth, either verbally or through your actions. This deception can encompass everything from misleading others through ambiguity to telling outright lies. Typical situations include trying to fast-talk a guard, con a merchant, earn money through gambling, pass yourself off in a disguise, dull someone’s suspicions with false assurances, or maintain a straight face while telling a blatant lie.

Intimidation

When you attempt to influence someone through overt threats, hostile actions, and physical violence, the DM might ask you to make a Charisma (Intimidation) check. Examples include trying to pry information out of a prisoner, convincing street thugs to back down from a confrontation, or using the edge of a broken bottle to convince a sneering vizier to reconsider a decision.

Performance

Your Charisma (Performance) check determines how well you can delight an audience with music, dance, acting, storytelling, or some other form of entertainment.

Persuasion

When you attempt to influence someone or a group of people with tact, social graces, or good nature, the DM might ask you to make a Charisma (Persuasion) check. Typically, you use persuasion when acting in good faith, to foster friendships, make cordial requests, or exhibit proper etiquette. Examples of persuading others include convincing a chamberlain to let your party see the king, negotiating peace between warring tribes, or inspiring a crowd of townsfolk.

Finding a Hidden Object

When your character searches for a hidden object such as a secret door or a trap, the DM typically asks you to make a Wisdom (Perception) check. Such a check can be used to find hidden details or other information and clues that you might otherwise overlook.

In most cases, you need to describe where you are looking in order for the DM to determine your chance of success. For example, a key is hidden beneath a set of folded clothes in the top drawer of a bureau. If you tell the DM that you pace around the room, looking at the walls and furniture for clues, you have no chance of finding the key, regardless of your Wisdom (Perception) check result. You would have to specify that you were opening the drawers or searching the bureau in order to have any chance of success.

Saving Throws

A saving throw, or save, represents an attempt to resist or avoid a spell, a trap, a poison, a disease, or a similar threat. You don’t normally decide to make a saving throw; you are forced to do so because your character or monster is at risk of harm.

To make a saving throw, roll a d20 and add the appropriate ability modifier. For example, you use your Dexterity modifier for a Dexterity saving throw.

A saving throw can be modified by a situational bonus or penalty and can be affected by advantage and disadvantage, as determined by the DM.

A character sheet indicates a character’s saving throw proficiencies. As with skill proficiencies, proficiency in a saving throw lets a character add his or her proficiency bonus to saving throws made using a particular ability score. Some monsters have saving throw proficiencies as well.

The Difficulty Class for a saving throw is determined by the effect that causes it. When a spell allows a saving throw, for instance, the DC for that save is determined by the caster’s spellcasting ability and proficiency bonus.

The result of a successful or failed saving throw is also detailed in the effect that forces the save. Usually, a successful save means that a character or monster suffers no harm, or reduced harm, from an effect.

This is the core of it, Morty: }

FORCE THEM TO JUMP THROUGH POINTLESS HOOPS FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT.

Some players think they’re unt-t-touchable, Morty. This is how you touch them with the finger of God.